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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26859580">the lot of life in you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jarchivast/pseuds/jarchivast'>jarchivast</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Magnus Archives (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fabric rustles, M/M, a couple of missing scenes from 181, a little fashion show... audience of one, autistic jonathan sims indulgence, nonbinary jonathan sims indulgence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:47:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,822</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26859580</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jarchivast/pseuds/jarchivast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>adventures in dress-up, etc.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>135</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the lot of life in you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>[shows up 5 seasons late with a latte] Hi guys! </p><p>title is from 'the dress looks nice on you' by sufjan stevens because i am pleasantly predictable</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>[TAPE RECORDER CLICKS ON]</p><p>[BIRDS ARE CHIRPING. THERE’S THE SOFT SOUND OF FABRIC RUSTLING, PERHAPS A COMFORTER BEING THROWN BACK, AND WHAT SOUNDS LIKE THE SQUEAK OF A MATTRESS.]</p><p>[AN UNINHIBITED YAWN FROM THE ARCHIVIST]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p><em> (voice heavy with sleep) </em> Mm?</p><p> </p><p>[MORE RUSTLING, CREAKING]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Martin? Martin, are you…?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Mmf. Oh, uh. Is-is this… real?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (soft chuckle) </em>I… don’t know. I think so?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Mm… feels real. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Yes, I-</p><p> </p><p>[RUSTLING, LIKELY THE MOVEMENT OF BLANKETS, AND MORE CREAKS OF PROTEST FROM THE MATTRESS]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST [CONT.]</b>
</p><p><em> (As if the wind was knocked out of him) </em>Oof! (exasperated, but fond) M-Martin! Release me!</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p><em> (stubborn) </em>Absolutely not. You’re warm.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>You know I’m not.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Fine, you aren’t. But you’re comfortable.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (to himself) </em>More like bony. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Hm?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (a resigned, but decidedly fond, sigh) </em>So are you. Comfortable.</p><p> </p><p>[A PLEASED HUM FROM MARTIN]</p><p>[FOR A MOMENT THERE IS SILENCE BUT FOR THE OCCASIONAL CHIRPING BIRD, AND THE FAINTEST SOUND OF WHAT COULD BE CURTAINS SHIFTING GENTLY FROM A BREEZE]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>I think I’d like to get up now.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p><em> (A bit petulant) </em>Okay, okay.</p><p> </p><p>[SOUND OF FABRIC RUSTLING AND THE BED CREAKING, PRESUMABLY THE ARCHIVIST MOVING TO RISE]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Sorry, it’s just. The birds? And the-the sunlight? It’s a bit jarring. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Yeah, I get it. The calm before the storm, and all that. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>More like the eye of the hurricane. Walking into the torrent to get here, passing through it again when we leave.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>I suppose.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>How… how are you feeling?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Ah, well-rested? And a little dazed, maybe? Hungry, even. Hah.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Mm.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>I wonder how long we slept for.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>I’m wondering where our clothes are. I… I don’t care for the likely possibility that- </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p><em> (interrupting) </em>That we were undressed of all but our pants before winding up in this room, sleeping in a strange bed?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (sucking in air) </em>Yes, that.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Guessing Salesa didn’t want weeks of apocalypse dirt and grime and blood and lord knows what else all over these nice linens? This bed is heavenly. Uhh... </p><p> </p><p>[SOUND OF SHUFFLING AS HE FEELS AROUND FOR SOMETHING BESIDE HIM]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN (CONT.)</b>
</p><p>Ah, there we go. Oh wow. It’s gorgeous in here. So ornate.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Quite.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Oh! Are those-</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (interrupting) </em>Robes? For us? I believe so. </p><p> </p><p>[FOOTSTEPS, SOME ASSORTED SHUFFLING]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST [CONT.]</b>
</p><p>There’s uh, a note. <em> ‘Clothes are in the wash. You’re welcome to anything in the walk-in closet, and full use of the master bath.’ </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Salesa?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>I suppose.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Right, sorry. You can’t See at all here, can you?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST </b>
</p><p><em> (sighs) </em>No, I don’t think so.  Perhaps in more ways than one. That note was dreadfully hard to make out.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Oh, your eyesight! I’m assuming you didn’t pack your reading glasses?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (scoffs) </em>I haven’t needed them since… since I woke from the coma, I think?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Right. Well, besides that, how do you feel?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Uh, a bit dizzy? Kind of out of it? Could just be disoriented from our, uh, nap, though. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Well how about we slip these robes on and take a look at our accommodations, hm?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN [CONT.]</b>
</p><p>Ooh, these are luxurious.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>They’re alright, I suppose.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Jon, I think these are <em> real silk. </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST </b>
</p><p><em> (unimpressed) </em>Hm. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Ever the critic. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Spiders spin silk threads, Martin.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p><em> (sudden realization) </em>You hate the texture of silk, don’t you?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Martin.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Is that a childhood trauma thing?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>It’s-we’re. <em> Annabelle Cane </em> is staying in this house!</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p><em> (gentle) </em>How about a bath? Get all cozy, warm you up a bit?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST </b>
</p><p><em> (embarrassed) </em>H-how do you know there’s a tub of such a size?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Jon, look at this place. This room alone is half the size of my old flat. And the note-it said master bath, which makes this the master bedroom? <em> (realizing) </em> Oh my god, I think we slept in <em> Salesa’s bed </em>. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>I think you’re better at solving mysteries than I am.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>I’m sure you’re just out of practice. Haven’t had to flex those mental muscles in a while! </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Yes, yes.</p><p> </p><p>[FOOTSTEPS, SOUND OF DOOR CREAKING OPEN]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST [CONT.]</b>
</p><p>Hm.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Well?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST </b>
</p><p>You were right.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>I knew it!</p><p> </p><p>[TAPE RECORDER CLICKS OFF]</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>[TAPE RECORDER CLICKS ON]</p><p>[SOUND OF TUB DRAINING]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Oh, that was so nice. I can’t remember the last time I felt <em> clean. </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Neither can I.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Alright, back into this robe we go. I almost don’t want to change out of it, hah.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Speak for yourself.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>I am!</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (he sniffles heavily and sighs) </em>Right.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p><em> (sympathetic) </em>Oh, you’ve still got a chill, haven’t you?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Well I <em> was </em>warm. Now not so much.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Let’s get some proper clothes on you, then.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>I, uh, feel a bit strange about walking about a person’s home wearing their clothes.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>I think you’d feel more strange walking around in nothing but a red silk robe.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Fair point.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Mhm!</p><p> </p><p>[FOOTSTEPS, A DOOR BEING SLID OPEN]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN [CONT.]</b>
</p><p> Sooo, let’s see what we’ve got here!</p><p> </p><p>[SHUFFLING, LIKE HANGERS BEING MOVED AROUND]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN [CONT.]</b>
</p><p>Oh wow, that’s… hm. I guess that makes sense. </p><p> </p><p>[SHUFFLING, FABRIC RUSTLING]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN [CONT.]</b>
</p><p>Too long, and a little loose, but it’ll work. I can cuff the trousers. Lets see if I can find a belt... </p><p> </p><p>[MORE SHUFFLING AND RUSTLING]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN [CONT.]</b>
</p><p>There we go. Oh! Hi there.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (soft, fond) </em> Hey.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>So… there might be a bit of an issue?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST </b>
</p><p>And what might that be?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Well..</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Martin.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Better to see for yourself. Just… here. Put this on.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>What? <em> (a pause) </em>Oh good lord. He can't be serious. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p><em> (bursts into giggles) </em>Oh, Jon.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (exasperated) </em>Martin!</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Sorry, sorry. You’re just, a bit adorable? All clean, wet hair, T-shirt devouring most of your body?</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (pouting) </em> I look sickly. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p><em> (trying not to giggle) </em>Well, there's always the robe.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ANNABELLE</b>
</p><p><em> (unannounced) </em>Perhaps I can be of assistance?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p><em> (startled gasp) </em>Jesus! A little warning next time!</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (amused) </em> The Web is rarely crude, Martin.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ANNABELLE</b>
</p><p>Subtlety comes as naturally as breathing these days. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p><em> (indignant) </em> We could’ve… we could have been <em> indecent! </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (embarrassed, hushed) </em> Martin!</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>What? She can’t <em> do </em> that to people. It’s impolite not to announce yourself!</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ANNABELLE</b>
</p><p>The issue of manners aside, I’d still like to offer my help.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Fine, fine. Get on with it, then. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ANNABELLE</b>
</p><p><em> (pointedly) </em>Well, Jon, you’re much more... hm. How to say this? Your stature bears more similarity to mine than it does to Mikaele’s. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p><em> (giggling despite himself) </em> Are you calling him small?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Hey! That’s-I mean-</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ANNABELLE</b>
</p><p><em> (interrupting, pointedly ignoring both Martin’s question and Jon’s indignant huff) </em> I have a relatively extensive wardrobe of my own, if you’re so inclined. Just down the hall there. You can borrow whatever you’d like. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Absolutely not.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Jon…</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Martin, I’m not wearing something belonging to The Web. <em> (mumbling) </em> She probably spun the thread herself.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Jon! <em> (a sigh) </em> My apologies. We appreciate your generosity, of course. Even if your motives are… suspect. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ANNABELLE</b>
</p><p>No hard feelings, Mr. Blackwood. I can imagine it’s quite a big adjustment, suddenly losing one of your senses. Isn’t it, Jon? </p><p> </p><p>[THE ARCHIVIST SIGHS]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Still... <em> (audibly struggling) </em> That’s… it’s very thoughtful of you. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ANNABELLE</b>
</p><p>Don't mention it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ANNABELLE [ CONT.]</b>
</p><p>Well, I’ll leave you boys to it. Got things to be doing. See you around.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Right.</p><p> </p><p>[DOOR CLOSES]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Martin…</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>I’m sorry, Jon. I know you don’t like her. You know I don’t like her either. And I certainly don’t trust her. But it’s-it’s the polite thing to do. We’re guests. And there’s no excuse for poor manners, especially in the one place we’ve been so far that <em> isn’t </em> an apocalyptic hell-scape.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST </b>
</p><p><em> (sigh) </em> No, no. You’re probably right. It’s just… I can’t See anything. <em> (soft, almost boyish) </em>What if they’re full of spiders?</p><p> </p><p><b>MARTIN</b> <b><br/>
</b>I’ll check for spiders for you, okay?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Th-Thank you.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Of course. </p><p> </p><p>[TAPE RECORDER CLICKS OFF]</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>[TAPE RECORDER CLICKS ON]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Well, it’s not quite what I expected? </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Hm.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>What do you think?  Anything you’re willing to try?</p><p> </p><p>[SHUFFLING, LIKE HANGERS BEING SHIFTED AROUND. FABRIC RUSTLING]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Mm. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Jon?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>What? <em> (snapping out of it) </em> Oh, um, I think so.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Alright, do you want me to check for spiders again, before you do?</p><p> </p><p><b>ARCHIVIST</b><br/>
<br/>
That’s alright, Martin. Thank you. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Sure. I’ll just step out and let you try something on, yeah?</p><p> </p><p>[THE ARCHIVIST HUMS, THE SHUFFLING AND RUSTLING SOUNDS RESUME] </p><p>[TAPE RECORDER CLICKS OFF]</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>[TAPE RECORDER CLICKS ON]</p><p>[SOFT KNOCKING]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Jon? You okay in there?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Yes, yes. Just… feeling a bit awkward. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Well, can I see what you picked out?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>If you insist.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST [CONT.]</b>
</p><p>Just... don’t laugh okay?</p><p> </p><p>[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p><em> (awed sigh) </em> Oh. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>I know, it’s ridiculous.</p><p> </p><p><b>MARTIN</b> </p><p>Jon, you look lovely.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (flustered) </em>I-I wouldn’t say that.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p><em> (singsong) </em> I wasn't asking you! </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>It’s-hah. Silly but...the fabric feels soft, a bit worn, which I quite like. And the string that ties the collar, I could probably fiddle with that, if I were so inclined. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>The style suits you more than I thought it might. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>I… I suppose. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Are your legs warm enough, though?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (humming contentedly) </em>The coat does wonders for the chill. It’s always my arms that feel the brunt of it. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Noted. </p><p> </p><p>[A BRIEF SILENCE]</p><p>[THE ARCHIVIST COUGHS]</p><p>[MARTIN CLEARS HIS THROAT]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN </b>
</p><p>Can I kiss you?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (coughs again) </em> I uh, you know that’s... But I… I might be getting sick, or something. I still feel-</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN </b>
</p><p><em> (interrupting) </em>Oh, screw that. Come here. </p><p> </p><p>[FABRIC RUSTLING]</p><p>[A BRIEF PAUSE]</p><p>[A CONTENTED SIGH FROM THE ARCHIVIST]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Wait.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (whiny, protesting the loss of contact) </em>What?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>What’s that there? The pile?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Oh, just. Um.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Is that all stuff you thought you’d like to try on?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Not necessarily, uh. They all just, they had a nice feel to them, so I figured, maybe have some alternative options, in case this one wasn’t, uh, up to standard. But it seems this one is suitable, so. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p><em> (absolutely enamored) </em> Jonathan Sims, are you using Annabelle Cane’s closet as your own personal thrift shop?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>I am doing no such thing!</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>You should try the others on!</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>I really don't see the point.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>The <em> point </em> is that we’re here in this fancy house, all safe and hidden away, and you deserve to feel good, for once. Properly good. <em> Humanly </em> good.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (at a loss) </em>Ah, well.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Look, if you’re uncomfortable I’ll let it go, okay? <em> (softly) </em>But... if you did want to, I would love to see what the rest of them look like on you. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>I suppose it couldn't hurt. <em> (a pause) </em>The longer I can put off facing... whatever it is Salesa has in store for us, and Annabelle... </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>That's the spirit! </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (embarrassed) </em> Okay, okay. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p><em> (undeterred) </em>Fashion show! Fashion show!</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>
  <em> Martin! </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Alright, alright. I’m going back out into the hall. You come open the door when you’re ready.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (fond) </em>Yes, yes. Go on. </p><p> </p><p>[SHUFFLING, FOOTSTEPS, A DOOR CLOSING]</p><p>[TAPE RECORDER WHIRS]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p><em> (to the tape recorder) </em> He has to know how adorable he is right? He tries to be coy, but… <em> (fond sigh) </em> I think he’s enjoying this a little bit, you know? <em> (tape recorder continues to whir) </em> And he’ll look good in whatever he puts on, wont he? <em> (whirring continues) </em> Right.</p><p> </p><p>[DOOR SLOWLY CREAKING OPEN]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Martin?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Oh! Ready?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>I suppose… </p><p> </p><p>[DOOR CREAKS OPENS WIDER]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p><em> (awed) </em>You’re… you’re like some kind of fae.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (extremely embarrassed) </em> Oh, enough of that.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>As your boyfriend I’m well within my rights to butter you up.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Well, you don’t have to be so enthusiastic for my sake.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>You think I’m embellishing? Oh, Jon. C’mere.</p><p> </p><p>[FABRIC RUSTLING</p><p>[A SOFT KISS BEING PRESSED ONTO SKIN]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN [CONT.]</b>
</p><p>Mm, your hair smells so good when it’s clean.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (flustered) </em> I should hope so. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>You know I mean every word, right? I wouldn't lie to you.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p> I.. I suppose I do. It’s not always easy to believe, though. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Mm. I understand.</p><p> </p><p>[FABRIC RUSTLING]</p><p>[A BRIEF SILENCE]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN [CONT.]</b>
</p><p>These colors are just lovely on you. The orange and brown I’m not surprised by, but even those hints of blues look smart. And the sleeves, they're so… flowy? </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>It feels nice, when I wave my arms around? The air flowing through, nothing bunching up around my elbows. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Ah, so good for flapping, is it?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (shy) </em> Yes, very much.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Didn’t take you for the paisley sort.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>It, uh. My grandmother used to be quite fond of it. It’s, it’s definitely a bit <em> busy </em>for my tastes, but...</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>It’s nice to have that connection. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Yes.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>So, Mr. Model, anything else?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (shy) </em>Martin...</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p><em> (undeterred) </em>Well?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Ah, um. One more, perhaps?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Bang-on!</p><p> </p><p>[TAPE RECORDER CLICKS OFF]</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>[TAPE RECORDER CLICKS ON]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (softly) </em>I…  I think this one’s my favorite?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p><em> (reverent sigh) </em> You look so regal in a turtleneck. And a corduroy vest on top of that. Mm. Very retro. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Alright, alright. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>What! I <em> like </em> retro, remember?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Now you’re just being cheeky. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p><em> (coy) </em> I’m sure I don’t know what you mean. You look snug as a bug.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (embarrassed) </em> Yes.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN </b>
</p><p>And the skirt, is it comfortable too?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Very.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN </b>
</p><p>Can I?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Go ahead.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Oh it’s soft as hell! And the extra length would keep out any residual chill, I reckon? </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Yes, I think so.</p><p> </p><p>[A BRIEF SILENCE]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST [CONT.]</b>
</p><p>What is it?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Can I make a suggestion?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>I am <em> not </em> going to twirl for you.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>I wouldn’t dream of asking something so <em> scandalous. </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Oh, come off it. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p><em> (unfazed) </em>I just wanted to suggest an addition, is all.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Oh?</p><p> </p><p>[FOOTSTEPS, FABRIC RUSTLING]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>There, how’s that?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Oh. That’s-I rather like it. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Just in case you do get cold, you know? You do look a little under the weather.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>I assure you I’m not as frail as you think.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Still!</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p> </p><p><em> (softly) </em> Thank you, Martin. </p><p> </p><p>[FABRIC RUSTLING]</p><p>[A MUTUAL SIGH]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>I’ll help you put the rest back.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>You don’t have to.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>We’re guests, I’m not going to leave a mess.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>What’s the rush?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Oh come on, I know you’re as curious about what’s going on with this place as I am.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (audible smile) </em>Right. Let’s get to it then.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ANNABELLE</b>
</p><p>Knock, knock!</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>What now?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p><em> (grumbling) </em> At least she’s not sneaking up on us this time. </p><p> </p><p>[A TIRED SIGH FROM THE ARCHIVIST]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Well?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ANNABELLE</b>
</p><p>Just have your clothes for you. Mikaele took care of cleaning them, so no need to worry about spiders.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>...Right.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (through gritted teeth) </em> Thank you.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Give Mikaele our thanks as well, if you would.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ANNABELLE</b>
</p><p>Oh, you can do that yourselves at dinner!</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Fine.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ANNABELLE</b>
</p><p> I’ll leave you boys to it.</p><p> </p><p>[FOOTSTEPS, DOOR CREAKING]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ANNABELLE [CONT.]</b>
</p><p> </p><p>By the way, Jon. Your boyfriend is right, that look really <em> does </em> suit you.</p><p> </p><p>[DOOR SHUTS]</p><p>[RELIEVED EXHALE FROM THE ARCHIVIST]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>I wish she wouldn’t do that.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p><em> (riled up) </em>I can’t believe she talked about me like I wasn’t even there!</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Well..</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>What?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>It’s a bit gratifying though, isn’t it?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>What? Oh, you mean her saying-</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (interrupting) </em>Yes.</p><p> </p><p>[FABRIC RUSTLING]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (softly, as if for the first time, though it very much isn’t) </em> You're my boyfriend. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Hah, uh, yep. That’s me.</p><p> </p><p>[SHUFFLING, MORE FABRIC RUSTLING]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN [CONT.]</b>
</p><p><em> (embarrassed) </em> Jon!</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>I’ll never tire of that.</p><p> </p><p>[SOFT GIGGLES]</p><p>[TAPE RECORDER CLICKS OFF]</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>[TAPE RECORDER CLICKS ON]</p><p>[SOMEWHERE IN THE APOCALYPTIC WASTELAND]</p><p>[THE SOUND OF FOOTSTEPS. IN THE BACKGROUND, HOWLING WINDS CAN ALSO BE HEARD.]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (confused) </em> I-Martin?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Yes Jon?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Where did I… have I always been wearing this, uh...?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>Oh, the turtleneck? The vest?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>Um, both, I think?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>They’re uh… souvenirs. From our little vacation. You picked them out.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>And the scarf?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p>The same. But, ah, I picked out that one.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>I see.</p><p> </p><p>[A BRIEF PAUSE. FOOTSTEPS AND HOWLING WINDS CONTINUE]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p> You had a nice full-length skirt, too. Plaid, unfairly soft. Vintage. Traded it for your old trousers though, hah. Lovely as it looked, not exactly practical for the apocalypse. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p>I’m sorry, Martin. I… I don’t remember it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN</b>
</p><p><em> (resigned) </em>Yes, well.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MARTIN [CONT.]</b>
</p><p>You know what? Doesn’t matter. You looked lovely. Still do, even without the skirt. I can say it again, right here. because I still <em> mean </em> it here. And you’ll remember.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ARCHIVIST</b>
</p><p><em> (soft, fond) </em> Yes. I’ll remember. </p><p> </p><p>[TAPE RECORDER CLICKS OFF]</p><p><br/>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>if y'all like this i may post some other things i've been working on</p><p>i'm @jarchivast on twit if you want to see me gush about stories and music</p></blockquote></div></div>
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